This is my “for what it is worth” comment. That there is hope … even with pandemics and coparenting.

Some years ago I was going through a divorce and had a 14 year old son. I started counseling long before things were finalized and my lawyer was asking if I wanted to pursue joint custody. I began to talk to my counselor about the idea of a child living with alternate parents on a schedule.

I was very much skeptical but she related a story about another patient that had turned out very well.

She had counseled a child who was about 12 when the divorce between her parents had started. From age 12 until age 18 she lived two weeks with her mother and two weeks with her dad.

When she graduated from high school and was headed to college the young woman related to my counselor that she had some small level of anxiety because of how her life was going to change. She said it would not seem normal to live in one place at the dorm rather than alternating between parents every two weeks.

My counselor said along the way she saw the girl, now a young woman, become comfortable with the joint custody to the point she totally accepted it as her normal.

Kids can be totally adaptable.

I worried that the impact of the divorce on my 14 year old son would be very negative. I elected to have him live with his mother but he spent a couple of weekends per month with me. The relationship with my ex was cordial but not great. But we did both believe he should never be the object of any problems between us.

He went on to graduate valedictorian of his high school and later medical school. He is now a practicing physician. He adapted well.

Throw in a pandemic on top of learning about adolescence relationships, middle school, learning to drive, and coming to grips mom and dad don’t love each other anymore would not be easy.

But don’t worry … any more than normal …

Pandemics, divorces, and middle school. Kids can be totally adaptable.

But the love of a mother and father, even if divorced, goes a long way.